Faith, Burdens, and Healing…
First, let me apologize for not having a post up last week. I could tell you that I had something all written and it just didn’t post, or that I did think it was ready, but both of those would be a lie. The truth is, last week, I let the world gain a foothold in my thoughts, and the devil took advantage. Before I knew it, the day had come and gone, but I hadn’t posted anything for you. I apologize. I am going to spend a little bit of time talking about what happened and a little more time taking the next step in our journey, but it is important to look at last week, because when we are on this journey, the enemy will put things in our path. He wants us to stop looking back to the Lord and start being of the world.
Sometimes we can have the greatest of intentions and know we are on the right path, only for something to move us sideways. Like many of you, I have a job outside of writing this story. Things happen in everyone's job that make you upset or question what you are doing. That is what happened last week. I received some news about my role changing in the future (for the better, mind you), and it took me some time to get back to normal. It is those moments of weakness that the enemy uses our insecurities and the falsehoods we believe about ourselves to make us feel down. Not only did I receive this news at work, but I also got negative feedback from a professor (I may not have shared that I am also back in school). Again, all those insecurities and doubts I had about my abilities and what “others” thought of me started to sneak into my head. I admit I was back in a place where I was questioning everything. Then I came across this verse, Psalm 55:22- Cast your burden on the Lord, and he shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” That verse seemed to snap me out of my funk. I have that on a card, and I carried that card with me for a few days this week. Having it in my pocket allowed me to cast my burdens on the Lord and just do what he is leading me to do. Again, this change at work, in the end, will be for the better, but my insecurities and thoughts that the enemy was using had to be cast unto the Lord. With those burdens cast, I got honest with myself and decided to be better. Do his work and let all the other things of the world work themselves out in time. I made some difficult decisions, which I knew I had to make, and I felt so much better. So if you are out there struggling, feeling down, and just feeling the weight pushing down on you, you are not alone. We are here with you, dealing with weights as well. Cast your burdens unto the Lord, let’s do it together.
Remember, a journey such as this is not perfect every mile we travel; some miles are harder than others, but with his strength, all things are accomplishable.
When we last spoke, I told you about my wife’s and my decision to have a damaged Achilles tendon repaired. The surgery was scheduled for about 3 hours, and the procedure was very routine. She suffers from Haglund’s Deformity, which is essentially the calcification of the Achilles tendon. What happens is that the Achilles tendon passes over a bony prominence, and microtears form. As those tears heal, they calcify and grow thicker. I could be off a bit there, but I am not a doctor, so just know I am generalizing. My wife’s Achilles had grown so thick that there was a little bump on her heel showing through her skin. It was incredibly painful and had to be handled. To correct this, the doctor removed her Achilles tendon and replaced it with a tendon from her big toe. I didn’t know they could do that either, but we have two tendons on our big toe and only need one. Amazing stuff. When he showed me her tendon (I was totally grossed out), it was almost an inch thick, where it should have been about 4-6 millimeters. To gross you out, the cross picture he showed me looked like a piece of sushi. Try eating that now.
Her incision was about six or eight inches up the back of her heel to her ankle, and they also had to cut her calf muscle to lengthen it. I am not sure why, but the doctor was confident, so I was confident in the procedure. She did well the first few days and had some normal surgery pain. My mother and father helped me as I brought her in and out of the house and down the stairs. We had to use a wheelchair, but she wasn’t supposed to be in it that long, so we just lifted her when needed. My wife is tough. She can take pain more than most men, but watching her have to deal with swelling and the day-to-day healing process was tough. There is nothing like watching the person you love most in the world suffer.
All was going well for about 5 weeks. Then she told me she had some pain and felt something running down her leg. That is when I knew we had something going on. Life would change from that point.
Talk again soon…..
Below is a picture of Haglund’s Deformity, just incase you were curious.
