When I Finally Let Go….

The last time we spoke, I shared a story of how the Lord had intervened earlier in my life to put me on the path that led to that day with Joseph and to the women I love. Even though we were suffering through a traumatic event, from that experience on, I felt as though we were going to be okay. If the Lord and His Holy Trinity were "thinking of us," then there was truly nothing we could not come through together.

Soon after this event, we had our first scare. My wife was not feeling well, and we decided to go to the hospital to get things checked out. At this point, she had undergone a couple of skin grafts, but we had experienced only minimal success. During this visit, it was determined that she had an infection. They diagnosed her with a bone infection, and I could tell it was serious. She would spend the next five days in the hospital, hooked to wound vacs and suffering setback after setback. She would have a central line put in, only to find out that the needle had not been placed correctly and was dangerously close to causing a major issue.

The night I left her there around 1:00 a.m. to get some sleep and return in the morning, I wasn't sure I was going to see her again. On the way home, I cried. The person I loved the most in the world was suffering, and I didn't know how to fix it.

Again, as I reached our driveway, I thought of Joseph, and a calm came over me. I wasn't sure how or why, but I knew it was going to be okay. Not great, mind you. It wasn't going to be the kind of miracle where she would be up dancing the next morning, but to us, it would be a miracle nonetheless.

The next day, she received additional bad news, followed by some encouraging news. She had developed a second wound where the hospital staff had let the wound vac sit on her skin for too long. Although this was heartbreaking to hear, the news that they wouldn't be putting another central line into her chest and that an oral medication could be used was uplifting. At this point, we were just happy to see something positive. After the fifth day, we rolled her wheelchair out that door, and she wouldn't spend another night in the hospital.

After some time, with the second wound now causing additional issues, the doctor suggested we see a plastic surgeon. The wounds were not healing, and it was time to get a second opinion.

The plastic surgeon told us about a surgery that could save her foot. It was called a "flap" surgery. For those of you who are like me and don't always understand medical terminology, let me explain.

During a flap surgery, a flap of skin from your arm, along with all the blood vessels, is removed and transplanted onto the foot in place of the dead and dying tissue.

I can remember not speaking until we got to the car, each of us trying to process what this meant. As we talked, I could tell she felt this was her only solution.

I felt that calm come over me again.

I said, "No, I don't think we need to do that."

She was kind of shocked that I would make such a statement. Both of her doctors had just said these wounds would not heal. The two wounds had now "tunneled" and were connected beneath the skin. We had already gone through at least three skin grafts, and this was the logical next step. Her regular doctor had spoken about another process we could try if we wanted. I just knew this was the way to go. I can't explain it. It was simply something I knew.

He explained that he had a process where they use fish skin to help promote tissue growth. It sounded nuts, but I knew the Lord had a plan for us.

Over the next few months, we underwent a series of six more skin grafts. Each time, her wounds would be packed with hydrated fish skin.

It may sound crazy, but after that day with Joseph and speaking with the Lord, I knew it was going to work.

Sometimes in life, we have to trust the Lord to do His work, even when everyone around us says it is impossible.

It was during this time that I truly surrendered my life and told the Lord He was in control. I had accepted the Lord years before, but I had always held part of my life back for myself. I am not perfect, and there are plenty of times when I am not the best version of myself. But even in the most difficult moments, I still trust the Lord.

We are not in control.

We have a Father who loves us.

Trust in that.

Talk again soon….