To understand the journey back to finding myself, you should know a little about me.
Growing up, my family was the center of who I was and a huge part of how I understood the world. See... I had a huge family. There was only my Mom, Dad, and Sister in my immediate family, but both my mom and dad came from large families of eight and seven, respectively. That means on my mom’s side of the family, I believe I had 32 cousins, but I stopped counting at some point. On my Dad’s side, I believe there are fewer, but still about a dozen.
Having this many cousins means you have very few days without friends, and you learn pretty quickly to find your niche. I learned to be outrageous and funny, and my ADHD really helped push me in that direction. This personality trait is something I have leaned on my entire life. Make people laugh, and they will like you. What they don’t tell you sometimes is that the same strength that makes you easy to get to know can make it harder in much more serious situations, or sometimes make it harder to be taken seriously in your career life. That’s a story for another time.
My family was a typical hardworking family. Dad was a farmer when I was younger, and that was always interesting. Something about working with animals and being outdoors all day really made him happy. Mom was a housekeeper at the local hospital, and she really enjoyed working with the elderly patients. Eventually, they both ended up at the local hospital and became vital leaders there. Again, that’s a story for another time.
We always had what we needed and some of what we wanted, but I didn’t realize at the time just how blessed I was to have them and to grow up surrounded by so much family.
Both Mom and Dad grew up in difficult circumstances. One moved out to work at 14, while the other experienced a difficult family dynamic. Now, as an adult and more aware of the circumstances surrounding their childhoods, I can see that my family had lived through generations of hardship and limited opportunities.
But when I was little, I didn’t see any of that. I didn’t know we were any different. So what if we had all 50 of us squeezing into that single-wide for Christmas? When the family grew larger, we just built onto the trailer and made more room. So what if my cousins knew exactly where to step on the floor because they knew where the holes were? That meant nothing to me at the time.
What I remember is family.
My mom and dad always pushed me to be my best because they understood where we came from and wanted something more for me. Mom had been the only one of eight to graduate from high school. My dad’s family all graduated, although the path was not always easy for everyone. In the end, of my 32 cousins on my mom's side, only a few of us would complete that goal.
But none of that tells the whole story.
My family is some of the most loving, energetic, funny, and intelligent people you would ever meet. School and traditional education may not have been the path for everyone, but they each had their own talents, strengths, and gifts. They taught me something I have carried with me my entire life: you can never truly judge a person from the outside. You have to get to know them for who they are and recognize the gifts they bring with them.
To this day, I know that if needed, my crew of cousins would have my back. Each of them is strong in their own right and more than willing to help. My love for each of them has never wavered.
We have all made choices we wish we could do differently at times, including me. But in the end, we all try to be our best. They may have taken different paths than I have, but each has found their own way to live, love, work, and succeed.
I do what I do now because I want children to be recognized for their talents and intelligence, not defined by their home experiences or the circumstances they come from. I want to help kids see the potential and excellence they have within them rather than allowing their circumstances to define them.
So many times, I was underestimated because someone believed this or that about my family or someone they knew in my family. Those experiences stayed with me, and they helped shape how I see other people today.
The Lord calls us to remove the “plank” from our own eye before addressing the speck in others (Matthew 7:1-5).
It is important in life that we recognize each other's talents, treasure the blessings each person we encounter brings into our lives, and understand that the Lord brings people into our lives for a reason. The people we grow up with and the people we meet along our journey help shape us.
As I start this journey in “Finding Me Again” after a couple of hard years, it is important to look back at that beginning—to remember who I am, who has impacted my life, and where the Lord divinely placed me as I grew.
And when I look back, I realize just how much I have to be thankful for.
Talk again soon....
