A Look Back..

To understand the journey back to finding myself, you should know a little about me.

​Growing up, my family was the center of who I was and a larger part of my understanding of the world. See.. I had a huge family.  There was only my Mom, Dad, and Sister in my nuclear family, but both my mom and dad came from larger families of eight and seven, respectively. That means on my mom’s side of the family, I believe I had 32 cousins, but I stopped counting at some point. On my Dad’s side, I believe there are fewer, but still about a dozen.

​Having this many cousins means you have very few days without friends, and you have to find your niche to get the attention you want. I learned to be outrageous and funny, and my ADHD really helped push me in that direction. This personality trait is something I have leaned on my entire life. Make people laugh, and they will like you. What they don’t tell you sometimes is that the same strength that makes you easy to get to know makes it harder in much more serious situations, or sometimes to be taken seriously in your career life. That’s a story for another time.

​My family was that typical hardworking family. Dad was a farmer when I was younger, and that was always interesting. Something about working with animals and being outdoors all day really made him happy. Mom was a housekeeper at the local hospital, and she really enjoyed working with the elderly patients. Eventually, they both ended up at the local hospital and became vital leaders there. Again, that’s a story for another time. We always had what we needed and some of what we wanted, but I didn’t realise at the time how lucky I was to be with them.

​Both Mom and Dad grew up in tough households. One moved out to work at 14 and the other dealt with alcoholism and abuse. Now grown and more aware of the situation, what I didn’t realize was how the whole family lived in generational poverty. That doesn’t mean we were just poor, as generational poverty is more of a mindset. But yes, we were still poor. When I was little, I didn’t realize anything different. So what if we have all 50 of us squeezing into that single-wide for Christmas? When the family grew larger, we just built on to the trailer and made more room. So what, my cousins knew where to step on the floor because they knew where the holes were. That meant nothing at the time.

​My mom and dad always pushed me to be my best because they knew and understood all of these things. Mom had been the only one of eight to graduate from high school. My dad’s family all graduated, but just barely for some of them. In the end, of my 32 cousins on my mom's side, only 5 of us would complete that goal. My sister and I make up two of those five.

​With all of that said, my family is some of the most loving, energetic, funny, and intelligent people you would ever meet. School may not have worked for them, but they all had many talents. It helped me to see that you can never judge a person; you should always get to know them for who they are and what their talents are.  

​To this day, I know that if needed, my crew of cousins would have my back. Each of them is strong in their own right and more than willing to help. My love for each of them has never wavered. They have made some bad choices, but so have I. They may have taken a different path than I, but they are successful in their own way. I do what I do now so children of the world can be recognized for their talents and intelligence, not for their home experiences or past decisions. Helping kids to see the potential and excellence they have, and not condemning them because of the situation they come from. So many times, I was underestimated because people knew my background.

​The Lord calls us to remove the “plank” from our own eye before addressing the speck in others (Matthew 7:1-5).  

It is important in life that we recognize each other's talents, treasure the blessings each person we encounter brings to our lives, and know that the Lord brought these people to us for a reason. The people we grew up with and meet on our journey help shape us.  

As I start this journey in “Finding Me Again” after a couple of hard years, it is important to look back at that beginning, remember who I am, who has impacted my life, and where the Lord divinely placed me as I grew. I am thankful for that. 

Talk again soon….